It was an honour to take part in Arshia Riyaz’s show Midlands Masala again last weekend, some very stimulating insights on the subject matter including is nine months too early to end a marriage, are people giving up too easily and with the increase in celebrity divorces are they setting a bad example?
I was amused when Arshia introduced me as the author of The Divorce Toolbox and am I someone who helps people to get divorced. To this I replied that I guide them through the process. When Arshia asked me my own view about Imran Khan and Reham Khans divorce within a few months of marriage I felt we need to look at the route of the problems, which is society, not just our Asian community but society in general puts pressure on being married . There is still a stigma attached with courting or living together. A perfect example is recently when Chukka Ummna went for labour leadership he was harshly criticised for having a girlfriend in his thirties rather than being married. Something I advocated was encouraging dating and living together so that people get to know each and don’t rush into getting married before their ready.
We then went onto talk about the time factor that do people give up too quickly as all marriages have problems. I then raised the issue from observing my parents generation, is that people get stuck in a rut and before you know it twenty years have gone by and people are just existing not living. In cases of domestic violence for example the sooner the better in my opinion. In my own book I touched on how time never comes back. There is a huge difference between trying to rebuild nine months as oppose to say thirty years.
The debate then moved onto are celebrities setting a bad example with the rate at which they are getting divorced. With the example of Imran Khan a high powered politician and Reham Khan a successful Journalist the two careers can clash. Being married to someone like Imran Khan there is a first lady role to fulfil. Not all women would give up their careers for their husband and why should they have to. I feel celebrities are setting a good example, if your happy why exist when you can live.
Overall I enjoyed being invited on this show again and giving my input but still strongly feel even though we live in the twenty first century society can still be very narrow minded and judgemental about divorce.