Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Festive Selection.

Whether it is glamming up for the festive season or buying some last minute gifts, Select is the place to shop. There is currently a sale on with 50% off. If you are still stuck for gift ideas, at Select you will find cute little stocking fillers for as little as £3/£4. These stocking fillers include handy items such as winter warmers. The receipt of tacky, useless presents can be a problem. Select have a classic range of scarves, gloves, and hats etc which are a godsend during the cold season.

The shops are mayhem at the moment; this is where the Select online store and facebook pages are handy. If you spend £20 or more there is free delivery. You can cover party clothing and Christmas shopping in one, without pushing through crowds of people, de-icing the car or worrying about parking.

You do not need to limit the shopping to just presents for others, why not treat yourself and look glam for the festive season. There is a sale on tea dresses for a party for as little as £10. Why not accessorise your look for as little as £4.

At this time of year finances are also an issue, where people want to enjoy the festivities of parties and giving gifts, without breaking the bank. Select offer reasonably priced clothing, jewellery, shoes, accessories and more without scrimping on quality or style. Check out the deals at


Sunday, 1 December 2013

Open Mic, Open Mind!

Earlier in the week I performed at an open Mic poetry event at Duffy's Irish Bar in Leicester. It was very stimulating to meet such open minded people with a wealth of talent. I also pushed myself to a different level with the type of poems I chose to perform. They both not only had themes from my motherland, Assam, in the North East of India. I also recited a couple of stanza's of my second poem in my mother tongue Assamese. This is the first time I have written a poem in another language and it has inspired me to write more.

Both poems will be posted on my blog, the following is the first one I performed. It looks at the theme of how the Assamese mark pretty much every occasion in life with a different type of song. These songs can be lullabies, for medicinal purposes, rituals etc.  The rituals performed during a woman's pregnancy and even when a child has smallpox, some type of song is sung.

A Life in Song. 

From the cradle to the grave,
in sadness and joy.
Darkness and light,
a song to sing.

After conception,
the warmth of a mothers womb,
nourished with a song.
Blessed before entering the world.

A grand entrance,
greeted with a song.
Rocked in a cradle,
no longer a restless child.

Laying close to a mothers heart,
soothed by her milk.
And sweet voice,
drifting into the night.

Pains and perils of smallpox.
A mothers heartbreak,
a suffering child.
A medicinal song.

Passed from mother to child,
flowing within the blood,
embedded in the veins.
ingrained for life.

Thursday, 31 October 2013

NANOW or never.

For the next month I will be going on my biggest writing journey ever. From tomorrow I will be undertaking the NANOWRIMO challenge embarking on 50,000 words of a novel in a month. I spent weeks drawing up a list reasons for and against. My against list was around the usual. Ongoing legal proceedings being the biggest bugbear.

 At the weekend I started going through my scribblings and found an idea that came to me in a dream I had last year. How lucky I wrote it down!! I started doing some planning, character sketches, chapter outlines etc and there was my answer. I must do NANO this year, that novel is screaming at me to be written.

  My reasons for not doing it were the same as previous years and would be the same next year, the year after and so on. The question I asked myself was am I really going to put my dream on hold for someone else? One of the reasons for coming out of that situation was to break that cycle.

  I am happy with the writing projects I have put out there in the last year or so. My ultimate dream is however to publish a novel, this has been my lifelong dream. The post I previously put up had a very depressive tone to it. A quote I read from JK Rowling put things into perspective. The advice I intend to follow during NANO and indeed the rest of my life is;

" Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."

Thursday, 24 October 2013

Hidden in Darkness

I know I have been quiet for a while, that is because a slightly dark period has been going on in my life. There was a point where I even thought about giving up on my writing. Some very wise friends of mine reminded me that it is during these dark periods where writing is both therapeutic and often the best work is born out of turmoil.

I am now at a point in my writing career where it is so deeply routed into me that it is physically impossible for me to give up. Last week I had periods when I was so weak that I could barely pick up a pen. Suddenly thoughts churned round in my head and a knee jerk reaction to these thoughts made me pen the following poem;

Without Pain!

I felt I was going insane
and wanted to numb my pain.
Not even thinking,
into darkness shrinking.

Letting my myself crash and burn,
nowhere to turn.
More than loss of control,
destruction of my soul.

Letting it build up,
then suddenly erupt.
No more tears to weep,
I wanted to fall asleep.

For it all to be forsaken,
to never awaken.
After many a fall,
a moment away from it all.

No stamina to run the race,
a fall from grace.
Down on the floor,
the truth I could not ignore.

I lost all the will,
swallowing a bitter pill.
Hanging by a flimsy thread,
a sense of dread.

Sunday, 22 September 2013

Read the tears!

This post is a form of catharsis about my bitterness towards bureaucracy. From reading my previous posts many people will know what I am talking about. This is the poem I came up with that represents my state of frustration, based on observations I have made. The title of the poem is the same as the post title.

The cry echoes down the hall,
they can barely crawl.
Just out of the womb,
enter the tomb.

Putting up a fight,
stripped of their rights.
What they lack in years
they show in tears.

Forced against their will,
making themselves ill.
Then those in power!
Faces so sour!

You have pointed the knife,
playing god with life.
Say anything, we are rude,
watching a crumbling childhood.

Within the cry, a voice,
that wants a choice.
Forget the book,
open your eyes, take a look.

To the children of tomorrow,
you have brought sorrow.
Death and destruction,
is your contribution!

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

The Aftermath!!!


It is that time of year when people are starting new journeys in their academic lives, following GCSE and A level results. Some people end up deviating from the route that was originally planned. The build-up to results day causes a big hype and the physical stomach churning happens on the day itself. There is then the aftermath of public events and seeing fellow students, where people are effectively forced to justify why they are following a different path.

This time of year has got me thinking about when I was going through this same period in my life. Looking back they were not really such huge problems compared to what life throws at us later. Later on down the line we actually appreciate the journey we ended up taking, as it lead to unexpected adventures.

This particular topic inspired me to compose the following free style poem. If people are feeling disheartened and interrogated about the aftermath of results day, I hope this poem will shed different light on it. I have given it the same title as this blog post.


My friend got all" A" stars,

Another is doing medicine,

The other is going to Oxford,

My life is over!


I must hide in shame,

How will I show my face again?

Law instead of medicine,

What a sin!


First major event,

Since the big day.

How many stars did you get?

I’ve decided to fly to the moon!


Before you enter,

Show your CV!

And flashy car,

From your six figure salary.


Now an observer to all this,

I sit and ponder.

So much to learn about life,

This is not a problem!






Monday, 2 September 2013

Back to School SELECTion

It is that time of year when we see "back to school signs" everywhere. If you are on a tight budget and do not want to spend thousands on uniform pieces, that are only going to get trailed in mud, check out the Back to School range at Select. Any last minute shopping on capsule items especially can be bought  here.

PE kit especially is known to get trampled over, at Select they have a sale on classics like leggings and joggers for as little as £8. A pair of simple straight cut trousers cost as little as £8, they look fashionable and are good for wear and tear. In my experience it is very upsetting to spend ridiculous amounts of money on school shoes, only for them to fall apart and then require another purchase. A simple pair of lace up Boots are now £18.

If you are in need of any last minute accessories  with a splash of colour check out the red tartan satchels for £12.

All these and many other great offers can be found by visiting

Tuesday, 20 August 2013

A flash at fiction

I have just enrolled my first ebook "Flash Sex" in Kindle Direct Publishing Select. (KDP Select) This is basically Amazons lending library system for ebooks. For a book like mine this is an ideal way to just literally take a flash at some of the stories, if readers do not have time to read the whole book. When I first brought the book out and wrote blog posts, I mentioned there is something for everyone. If you want escapism from real life with some naughtiness you could turn to "Cyber Sex". If you want some girl on girl sizzling fun  take a flash at "Tipping the Line". ( I understand this one has been very popular) For good old fashioned romance there is "Precious" or "The Tea Party".

With KDP the choices are abundant with type of book especially. When borrowing from any library, there is always the pressure to finish the book by a certain time. The pressures of modern life do not always allow this. With my collection you will not be disappointed if only get say one or two stories read. For more information visit the amazon kindle store and take a flash at "Flash Sex" by M S Devi.

Wednesday, 7 August 2013

"Select" the classics.


I have made a promise to myself not to buy any new clothes until I have thrown out some old ones. Going through my wardrobe, I have found many clothes were purchased from "Select Fashions". I have come across some classic looks that I can still wear, like skinny white shorts for the summer and floaty summer dresses. I am an absolute fashion freak but I do not always have the money to support this habit. I recall I use to always find reasonably priced, stylish clothes at Select. When I moved back to Leicester I was disappointed not to find a Select store in Leicester. My prayers have been answered on many levels. I have recently been accepted on their affiliate programme, which allows me to combine my love of fashion and writing. Also a new Select store has been opened in Leicester recently, how perfect!

Select really is a store where you can shop on a budget without compromising on style and quality. For the holiday season there are summer tops being sold for a little as £2.50. If you want a decent pair of flip flops but do not want them sanded up on the beach, at Select they are being sold for as little as £4, no compromise on glamour, wear and tear. Have a glance at

Please note information about sales etc is always subject to change following publication on the blog. These details were correct at the time of publication.

Sunday, 28 July 2013

Holiday Romance-2nd Helping



To continue the theme of holiday reading, in this post I am going to blog about a publisher who I have always loved from my teens to now, Mills and Boon. My own library of reading material is eclectic, but if I want something light hearted and quick to read, with a touch of good old fashioned romance, it has to be Mills and Boon. I am in the process of writing one myself and was very happy to be accepted on their affiliate programme.


The books maybe quick to read but they are definitely not quick to write, it is a different sort of writing discipline. Once again however Mills and Boon is the perfect holiday romance reading material. Being around 50,000 words they can be read in an evening. They are now also available in eBook format. You do not even need to be on holiday to enjoy one. With the kids school holidays the books are a blissful way of unwinding after running around after kids all day. They have something for everyone. If you want costume drama type romance there is historical, good old fashioned boy meets girl there is modern. For those who want extra naughtiness there is blaze, but beware it’s very, very saucy.


With the summer season there are many great offers and clearance sales  going on, especially on eBooks for as little as £3.49. A box set in the Mills and Boon world for those who want to indulge in fantasy is the Tall, dark and handsome collection, a total of sixteen scandalous affairs. At the moment there is twenty per cent off new releases. To find out more about these and other saucy summer treats please visit



Thursday, 18 July 2013

Holiday Romance!!!

My book sales so far have been by people who are going on holiday. The kindle really is a godsend of an invention. If like me you overfill your suitcase with clothes, shoes and make- up, ( many of which you do not wear) then with a kindle there is not the extra hassle, of trying to squeeze  thick hardbacks and risk getting charged for excess luggage.

My collection of flash erotica is also perfect to take on holiday. A holiday should be a balance of sightseeing, relaxing, etc. Many of the stories in my book are under one thousand words long. Depending on speed of reading one story could be completed within minutes, leaving time to take a dip by the pool. One of my followers who has purchased my book says he has already completed the whole book.

It is holiday season all round with the kids being on summer holiday. With running around after Nishka twenty four seven, my own reading has been mostly short story collections. After a day entertaining  kids ,  with " Flash Sex" I have tried to include stories that offer light relief from the daily grind.

By reading " Flash Sex" some people may even feel inspired to get passionate with their partners on holiday or even start a holiday romance. The feedback I have received from the book so far is that people have been able to visualise some of the imagery I have portrayed. One of my aims as a writer is to take people out of the world they live in and indulge in fantasy. Beware " Flash Sex" could really end up taking you on some adventures!!!

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

News Flash!!

I have finally done it! Got my first book out. Decided to take the plunge and bring out an Ebook on Amazon Kindle. I have realised it is just pointless to let my writing grow dust in a cupboard somewhere. The encouragement I have received, from the Phoenix Writers group and followers of my blog, has given me the confidence to take this gamble and let my baby out into the big wide world.

As it is my first attempt at doing an ebook I decided to go for a relatively small scale project, a collection of mildly erotic flash fiction stories. I also feel there is a gap in the market for more flash fiction/short story collections, especially for busy working mums. I often pick up longer novels that I do not finish and literally lose the plot trying to fathom the sequence of the story. With collections of short stories however they are great to dip in and out of. There is the amazing feeling of getting one or maybe more  stories read in an evening. My collection is also quite eclectic where some stories are quite graphic, some good old fashioned romance, fantasy and real life issues that effect women in modern society like sexual repression and unhappy marriages. I have tried to put something in there for everyone. 

The whole adventure has been hard graft but fun and I must give credit to my contributors. Tony Lyons for his excellent photography, that I showcased in previous posts and for being a good friend who makes me laugh at myself. Everyone at the Phoenix Writers Group, but especially Leah Osborne a good friend and  fellow juggler of motherhood and writing.

Leah was an amazing support throughout this whole process and as well as critiquing and proof reading, Leah kept me very sane and often believed in me more than I believed in myself. To find out more about Leah's business please visit

To buy your copy of Flash Sex by M S Devi ( my pen name) please visit The ebook can be found in the fiction section, sub category erotica, under the title of the book and authors name. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Monday, 8 July 2013

Optimum Fitness

As the weather is finally getting better and my life is getting more and more hectic ( watch this space I may have some big news soon) I have decided to get fit. Nishka will be breaking up for her summer holidays soon, I still have a day job and writing is getting busier. ( not that I am complaining).

I generally enjoy keeping fit and do not look at it as a chore, however  I am prone to bad habits. Namely snacking between meals and the excessive need for a sugar rush. Recently I  have discovered a range that is helping with these problems and my goal of getting fit. Like many single mothers I do not have a large budget therefore I am making the best of the bargains going at Optimus Protein. They currently have a sale on their starter bundles, which is exactly what is says on the label. The price was originally £85.44 and has now come down to £76.70, a saving of £8.54. The starter bundle includes protein powder in various flavours, a drinks bottle, a shaker and various other goodies. Just buying this bundle, is all  that is needed for the summer without needing a big budget.

For details of the big sale going on and other special offers check out this link

Sunday, 7 July 2013

Burning a Dream - The Finale

We ended our performance with a piece about "Non uniform Day", with the backing music of Raag Jog. This raag also has a dark quality, Akash and Rishii put together a kind of groove to it. This poem was suppose to convey a profound, positive messege, which is why we felt the groove was appropriare. Rishii and Akash showed their musical dexterity in this peace with extra emphasis where I left a gap. The idea was to also emphasie the emtions through music. The extra twists they both added earned us a standing ovation when we finished.

Non uniform day.
Non uniform day
A lot to say
The line of fire
Because of my attire.

Mocked by the school,
Made to look a fool.
My alleged friends,
They deserted  me.

I looked at my watch,
The day dragged.
Treated like a parrasite,
Sat in isolation.
Crying my eyes out,
What was the fuss about.
Having no voice
and no choice.

Now they pass me in the street
And want to meet and greet.
Suddenly,I’m good enough
Outshing them all.

Not sponging from the state
No excessive weight.
A sense of class,
Not a chav.

My childhood they tried to  rob,
now stuck in a dead end job.
Pregnant as a child.
Contraction of a disease.

Looking back,
I've come a long way.
And feel empowered,
a bully is a coward.


Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Burning a Dream 2.

When I recited my second poem at The Y I introduced Akash Parekh and Rishii Chowdhury to the stage. The poem titled "Stripping Dreams, was based on" experiences my siblings and I  had of teachers being bullies. When  teachers tell you that " you are incapable", " you cannot go to university, " you will never amount to anything" etc etc, what can you expect from children? Quite often these predictions are proved wrong in later years. I got told I would " NEVER set foot in a university". I did not set foot in one university but two and came out with two degrees.

Nowadays political correctness is at another extreme. A few years back there was a kick off, about social services being called because a mother hugged her child for too, long at the school gates.

I channelled my anger at these issues in this poem. While I recited the poem Rishii provided a light beat on Tabla. Akash played an Indian Classical raga ( composition) called Kirwani. This raag is known for its dark haunting, quality, which we thought was very fitting for this piece. It allowed us to capture the emotions of the poem, with music that was prominent,without detracting from the statements I was trying to make. This is how it went:

Stripping dreams

Shaping young minds,
And future citizens.
Laying down roots,
Lessons for life.

Watched in adoration,
To aspire to.
The key to the future,
Hero worship.

To then find out,
They are bigoted.
With preconceived judgements,
Only educated by certificates.( said in freestyle no beat and very soft sitar strumming)

Corrected by ridicule,
Making an example.
Just one derogatory statement,
Sets the whole tone.

We live in the 21st century,
That doesn’t matter.
Under a microscope,
Scrutiny for every move.( said in freestyle no beat light sitar strumming)

Hug a child too much!
You are possessive.
Not enough,
You are neglectful!

A child out of the ordinary,
Does not fit the mould.
What a sin!
Daring to be different.

Ambition turned to mockery,
Made into satire.
Crushing a soul,
Burning off a dream.

From a broken home,
That’s still a stigma.
Put a hair out of place,
Let’s call the social!

Abuse of power,
By the book,
Targeting the wrong people.

Politically incorrect, paranoia!

Burning a Dream 1.

The following is the first poem I recited at the Y nearly two weeks ago. It is based on my own personal experiences of being a minority Asian in Barnsley, South Yorkshire in the 1980's. My family then moved to Leicester where I faced bullying at a different level. Based on feedback from my previous performance, I chose to recite this poem in freestyle, without music, to really capture the essence of the emotions. This is how it went.

Lassie from Barnsley.

The only brown face,
People would stop and stare,
Walk the streets in a sari,
You feel like an alien.

Paki, brownie, blackie
Heard it all.
Skin color 
 An automatic disqualification.

A yorkie lass,
Strong accent.
The family moved here,
A culture shock.

First day at school,
The lead in the school play,
Bad idea
With a broad northern accent!

Top that off with:
Geeky glasses,
An unusual name,
Asking for trouble.

We blended in more,
On Belgrade road,
Massi’s in slippers and sari’s,
Business as usual.

Still an identity crisis,
The turbulent adolescent years,
I always remained
The lassie from Barnsley.

Thursday, 27 June 2013

The Magical Three

I Breath a sign of relief to say got through last week which was a challenging one. However there are some moments I would happily relive again. The “Burning a Dream” project as Mayapee and the half Moon circle nuts went down better than expected. There was amazing energy from fellow performers and such an incredible audience. We really met a talented bunch of people with so much passion for what they do.


The feedback from the audience was interesting, especially around tuning the instruments. I had Sitar and tabla accompaniment from Akash Parekh and Rishii Chowdhury.  Both instruments that require a lot of tuning, especially sitar. All of us felt very touched to hear the audience say” don’t apologies for taking extra time tuning, we think it’s beautiful and quality is worth waiting for”. Very beautifully said, considering we have heard Indian audiences, criticize top artistes, for taking too much time with tuning. It was also a touching moment to receive a standing ovation at the end of the performance.  Although I have performed at the Y before the structure of the feedback was different this time. We now have a better focus about the next level of this project.


For me personally it was an amazing journey where Rishii and Akash brought out the best in me. Compared to the previous performances I did at the Y, this was more challenging, in a positive way and forced me to step out of my comfort zone. It was technically more demanding and I had to go deeper within myself.  There was a surreal energy between the three of us, fusing all our passions together and we had fun. This was a very innovative piece that we created ourselves and for me it was the first time I collaborated with other artistes. I walked away feeling very creatively inspired. There is a video of the performance to follow in the next few weeks; I will also post the poems I performed.   Rishii Chowdhury and Akash Parekh lets continue on this journey and see where it takes us, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Om shanti

Friday, 7 June 2013

Back at The Y as a triple act!

I will be back at The Y in Leicester for the third time on Thursday June 20th at 7:30pm. This time not only will I be performing brand new material, I will also be introducing a collaborative project I have been working on, with two up and coming Indian classical musicians, Akash Parekh on Sitar and Rishii Chowdhury on Tabla. The three of us have formed together and called ourselves "Mayapee and the Half Moon Circle Nuts".  In October last year I put a couple of posts on my blog about this talented duo and it is a privilege to be working with them .

Akash and Rishii have worked with various different artistes and between them have training in Indian Classical music and Western music. With the diverse knowledge the three of us bring to the table, we thought it would be very exciting to work together.

The title of our piece is called " Burning a Dream" which explores the issue of bullying through poetry and Indian classical music. The raga's ( compositions) chosen for my poems fit the mood of the subject that is being tackled.

There is an exciting line up of other emerging artistes. For more details and to see an extract of our work please click on the link below.

Sunday, 2 June 2013

My Own definition of a CRITIC.

This post is very random and I have literally only just thought of it, so feel I must get it down. I am a strong believer in constructive, positive feedback, however there are some people who are just plain negative about anything and everyone. I draw the line at accepting criticism from say my Writers Group who are very experienced and knowledgeable. However when you get people who have barely read any books, never put pen to paper, never mind written a bestseller or stood up and performed in front of someone, that is where you have to question these so called critics. This is how I sum them up;

Cynical about everyone.
Resents anyone else's progress.
Invalidates someone for own self worth.
Trespasses on innovation.
Insecure about themselves.
Causes controversy for the sake of it.

How many of you have come across someone like this?

Thursday, 9 May 2013

We all know a "TWAT"

Many writer's get asked the question which book/poem etc do you wish you had written. For me without a doubt it is this poem titled "TWAT" by John Cooper Clarke. He really is a no nonsense poet who's style I draw inspiration from. Listen to this poem very carefully, I'm sure many people will relate to it. When I first read it I felt he was reading my mind. I have it on CD and I play it on loop. It is the type of poem to listen to if you have had dealings with any "TWATS" it really sums them up.

Saturday, 4 May 2013

My Motherhood Journey (continued/es)

Tomorrow is my birthday and it is normally during the lead up to my birthday, when I look back on many of the gifts I have been blessed with in life. I started talking about this in my last post. A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to the radio and heard of a memorial service that took place in Leicester, for parents who had lost  children to miscarriage, stillbirth etc. It got me thinking about my own experience when I also lost a child through ectopic pregnancy. At the time I did not fully grieve and hearing that radio announcement  prompted me put my thoughts together in the following poem;

Passing Away.

Just passed off,
I made nothing of it.
A touch of sickness,
no need for alarm.

Weeks passed,
but not the pain.
Stabbing further inside me,
till I could not stand.

The tears in my eyes,
the blood I shed.
No more movement,
was this the end?

The revelation.
Inside me a growth,
of new life.
My heart sank.

Not in my fate,
I lacked maturity.
I felt a bond,
with that tiny blob.

A person to me,
part of my soul,
then taken away
pain in my whole being.

my aching heart,
hurt more than my stitches,
given a gift,
then taken away.

I plodded along,
without fully grieving.
within me a longing,
to be a mother.

It stayed with me
and was replayed.
The hope of happy news,
then a negative test.

Feeling less of a woman,
what was wrong.
Why was I starved
of a maternal bond?

Sunday, 21 April 2013

My Motherhood Journey.

Last week my family and I celebrated a day we never thought would happen, Nishka's fifth birthday. Motherhood has and still continues to be a journey for me on so many levels. I was looking back at poems I penned before I had Nishka, during pregnancy and more recently, it really has been an emotional roller coaster.

The day I found out I was pregnant with Nishka was a day that changed my life forever, in more ways than I thought.  I really hope reading this poem will also give other women out there some hope. It seemed to take me forever to get pregnant and I was not getting any younger. There were people around me who could just pop them out so easily and made me feel there was something wrong with me. I got some of the usual sarcastic remarks, " you are not getting any younger", " shouldn't you have had a child by now". At one time it looked impossible for me to conceive, something I will elaborate on later on. On the day I found out I was going to have Nishka I wrote this poem;

Long Awaited News.

It took a while to happen,
 used against me as a weapon.
Among all the strife,
I created a life.

Lost at sea,
The odds against me.
Never a positive word to say,
but I knew it would be OK..

Tolerating everything in vain,
all the trials and pain..
Holding back my rage,
told I was not the right age.

With my courage and will,
often making myself ill,
how wrong were their views?
I got my good news.

Sunday, 7 April 2013

Pictures of Rock Chick Mummy at The Y Theatre

As promised a few pictures from my performance at The Y. I have posted the video on facebook and it has been well received. Thank you again to Tony Lyons for taking them for me.

Friday, 29 March 2013

Rock Chic Mummy at Y Theatre

I cannot believe that after a long break away from the stage, I have now done my second gig at the Y Theatre, Leicester. Last week I pushed the boundaries further by performing three poems to backing tracks, about topical issues that I feel strongly about. The first one about gang rape is one I performed earlier this year and seems to be a hit, which is now actually requested at gigs. My second poem was originally a task that was set by the Writer's Group when we were given the theme of writing about a debt or financial crisis. I chose to write about how the recession is affecting society. To finish off I decided to talk about sex! The theme was actually safe sex and not allowing peer pressure to lead young people into rushing into something, then wasting their youth away.

After all the performances were over we received audience feedback. I certainly achieved what I set out to do, which is to get people thinking and to take the audience on a different journey. An interesting debate that got started was, whether I should perform my poetry to a backing track or not. Poetry to a backing track is something new, experimental and exciting for me. I am of the belief that poetry still gets a raw deal and should appeal to the wider masses. A backing track is something that can enhance a poem by making it stand out more.  Using a backing track is actually harder than reading a poem out alone. With a backing track one needs to think about the execution of the poem, getting the emotions out and making sure the backing track is in rhythm and synchrony to the poem. When I choose my backing tracks I also try to choose backing tracks that fit the mood of the poem.

Overall I am pleased that I am rebuilding my performance confidence again. From reading previous blog posts many of my readers and followers will see that my life can be a roller coaster. Having challenges like this keeps me going and boasts my confidence. When I step out onto the stage I feel I am stepping into another world and in that world I can just let myself go. If I did not have that world I do not think I would cope with half of what life throws at me. I said it on stage, but I do not feel I can reiterate this point enough. It is the strong support network of family, friends/mentors that have made all this possible again. I feel very fortunate to be surrounded by positive energy while I am embarking on these important journeys in my life.

There is a video and pictures to follow this blog post, watch this space.


Monday, 4 March 2013

I Have Not Gone Quiet!!

Apologies to my followers and readers who have not heard from my blog for a while. Things have been very, very manic. This does not mean I have not had anything to say, the opposite in fact. For those of you who are also my facebook friends, you will see that I have been ranting about a certain topic a lot lately. Whether it is with Criminal or Family law or the benefits system, our government seems to get confused between who the victims in society really are. I have composed the following poem to make my point on this matter:

Who is the victim?

Toiling away at the grind,
gasping for breath,
no time to sip water.
The sleepless nights,
You are not a victim!

Smoke money away,
Drown in cheap cider,
sponge from the state,
what is a days graft?
You are a victim!

Protect your own
and your property,
from intrusion or theft,
you are still not the victim.
The one who robbed you is!

Our money flushed away,
for the wrong cause.
Reform of the ridiculous,
Forcing revival of a jackass!
In the name of equality!

Who is the victim?
Who is the perpetrator?
Who is the down trodden?
Who does the treading?
No political priority, a shambolic society!

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Valentines Day Special

As today is Valentines day I thought to myself what a good day to experiment with romance. Not for myself, with my writing. I do not normally put much of my fiction on my blog but today when I searched through my library of romantic flash fiction I stumbled upon this short story I wrote years ago. Being single people often try to fix you up on blind dates and feel there is something wrong if you do not conform to what is normal. This is the angle my story is coming from. I read it out at the Writers Group a while back and have given it an edit since then. Digging an old story out has also showed me how my writing has changed over the years.
 Here it is I hope my readers will enjoy it and think before fixing anybody up on a blind date!

Double Blind.  
 The déjà vous of childhood. The classic geeky friend and gorgeous friend scenario.   I was the bookish studious one, never interested in relationships.  Sharmaine  was never without a man. She could get them easily as her striking good looks got her far as a model. Sharmaine wanted me to also settle down and meet someone. She was always fixing me up on blind dates. The always ended in disaster . I was hoping it was now an abandoned mission.
No such luck. Sharmaine had invited someone on a night out while she got frisky with her latest beau. He was a model like Sharmaine and they were also parading magazine pictures where they posed together. Anyway I was more interested in the other tag along she brought. I looked closer and it was Benjamin Whimsickle, one of our childhood friends.     Like me, he  always had his nose in a book and never any time for relationships. Then again with a surname like Whimsickle I’m sure it must have been difficult. He shortened it to Ben of course but that did not prevent the  innuendos.     He had changed beyond recognition since our school days. He was gorgeous. The big glasses were gone; he now had stylish choppy hair cut and wore fashionable clothes. He would not look out of place in the magazines that Romeo and Juliet were parading.  I doubt I will complain if this is a blind date.    Unlike before we both agreed, the endless smooching was getting nauseating so he suggested:
“I feel like an early night Tweesah, I could walk you home too”
I was relived to get away from Sharmaine and lover boy but feared early night meant early night, nothing more.   
As he walked me home I could no longer hold back and I made a move on Ben. He was certainly no geek in the bedroom.
After all the physical activity I needed a glass of water. Sharmaine's boyfriend was in the kitchen and tried to kiss me. I poured the water on him and slapped him across the face. 
“You are my best friends’ boyfriend”, I screamed
He laughed
“Oh ok so she’s told you I’m her boyfriend”
He eventually got the message and backed off the slipped a card in my hand.
“Well if you change your mind”
The business card read model/escort.
Shock horror I had to read it twice that it actually said escort on it.
When Sharmaine came into the kitchen I did not say anything and poured her a drink and proposed a toast.
“What are we drinking to?”, she asked
“To double blind dates”, she laughed

She knew what I meant as the business card was still lying on the table. Sharmaine thought I did not notice her looking at it from the corner of her eye.   How the tables had turned since child hood. Gorgeous the model fighting the men off. Tonight not only did I pull, but got hit on too. Maybe I should think about fixing Sharmaine up on a blind date. 

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

f****** Bureacracy

Something I talked about a few posts back, when I mentioned I am approaching my fifth year of my legal battle . In the time I have been fighting my legal battle I have also seen many cases of  people around me suffer as a result of wrong decisions taken by those in power. I feel when parents split up with children involved,  those in power play god with a child's life and as a result have made some very costly mistakes. 

Even though the authorities have evidence in front of them of harm that can be done to children, they wait for an incident to happen and apologize afterwards. What is the point when a life is already lost?  The greatest fear I have is that Nishka could end up being a statistic , like the other children who have lost their lives as a result of negligence on the part of the courts, social services etc. The following poem is really a mother expressing her fear for a child's safety.

What do you care?
You stumble when you say her name,
do not know her inner being,
but play god with her life,
stripping away her rights.

A child is a human,
and can see the world as it is.
it is not your flesh and blood
what do you care?

As long as you make the numbers,
receive your income
and your papers are neat,
Aftermath is no cost to you.

Open your eyes,
before a child takes their first step
they loose their life.
You have blood on your hands.

Saying we need reform,
but will not listen,
to a child's cry,
or a mothers wisdom.

You misuse your power,
how do you sleep at night?
You are the cause,
of child mortality. 

Saturday, 26 January 2013

Topical Poetry With a Twist!

Last weekend I took to the stage again and performed my poetry in front of an Assamese audience, for the Magh Bihu ( Assamese Harvest Festival) celebrations. I decided to step out of my comfort zone completely by making a very controversial issue the subject of one of  my poems, the recent rape situation in India.

It was very well received and as a result of requests that have been sent to my facebook page,  I have decided to post the poem on my blog. I performed the piece using the instrumental version of Madonna's " American Life". Madonna raised controversy with the video and tour performance of this song and  I felt it would be appropriate to have this as my backing track.


Just a normal day,
then attacked,
in a violent,
brutal, torturous way!
Everyone stood back!

A sadistic act,
Did you feel all man?
She could be,
your mother,
your sister,
your daughter.

Shedding blood from her body,
you mutilated her organs,
piercing her soul.
The death penalty is pointless,
You are already dead.

Take responsibility,
do not blame the woman,
or her attire,
How would you know the pain?

It is now unsafe,
to walk the streets,
to feed or shelter,
a starving child.
The child maybe
forever departed,
from their mother.

People in power!
What are you doing?
Letting this tragedy happen.
If it was your blood,
how would you feel?

The country is progressing,
with beauty parlours,
shopping malls,
flashing cash,
talking big.
That is cheap and easy.

Take action,
it is not the first time.
By all means,
raise your voice,
but do it,
for the right cause. 

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

A Character Building Start to The New Year

Within the first few days  of the year  my strength of character has already been tested. I have decided to break my silence and put some more candid posts on my blog. Throughout my 2012 blog posts  I only scratched the surface on certain issues I feel strongly about, mainly my ongoing legal battle with my ex. I am now approaching my fifth year of fighting this battle and am I taking  a stand that I am proud of. This experience has shaped my output of writing but I have always made it my personal catharsis. I now feel the time has come to go public about my inner turmoil.  This is not just my legal battle but there are many women in similar positions to me, who's voices are not being heard and these so called authorities are playing games with the lives of children. In this following poem I am really giving a  short introduction of a fathers relationship with his daughter in her infant years, where the need for paying back an ex takes over a child's needs.

Nowhere To Be Found.

When she goes to sleep at night,
tucked up in bed,
you are nowhere to be found.
As you sip your cheap cider,
plot your next vendetta,
do you care if she has been fed?

You assert your rights,
but do not have a clue,
a heart of stone,
Do you know how to love?
When she took her first crawl,
you were nowhere to be found.

I lifted her when she fell,
dried the tears from her eyes,
helped her stand tall.
My unconditional sacrifices
of my own sleep and nourishment
this is called real love.

An agenda of vengeance,
she can see it in your eyes.
You may fool those in power,
but she can sense your insincerity.
The girl will grow into a woman,
as you remain nowhere to be found.

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Eye Opening 2012 Part 2.


As I said in my previous post I learnt a lot about people in 2012. Many people close to me have been there for me unconditionally and never doubted me, even when I doubted myself. On the other hand I did get stabbed in the back by a few people who I held in high esteem,  rightly or wrongly. This taught me the real meaning of friendship with oneself. I have often been my own worst enemy, but after discovering my own inner strength, I have chosen to be my own best friend.That is my main resolution not just for 2013, but for life.

I composed the following poem last night as the year started drawing to an end. It is basically describing the journey I have been on this year.

My Eye Opening Journey
I look forward
and try no to look back.
A long winding road
now the journeys end.

To many I have said goodbye,
As they threw stones at my window,
when I picked up the glass,
no one to clean my blood stained hands.

As a single passenger
I travelled the world,
eyes always wide open,
now the opening of my third eye.

Unfounded smears on my character,
I pulled out the daggers out of my back,
the wounds sometimes hurt,
But they slowly fade into the mists of time.

I met a fellow passenger
and reunited with a lost soul,
our two worlds came together
we shared tears and laughter.

The loved ones who were there for me
When  I crumbled,
They put me back to together,
I found myself again.

I watched my little one grow,
she gave her heart to many a good cause,
venturing into the world alone
by my side, never letting me fall.

I look back with gratitude
I had some lucky escapes.
I venture into the new
and rise above the sorrow.