Another Fitting Task.

I feel maybe this months Writers Group chairperson is reading my mind. For the second week in a row the task set has been very close to home for me.  This week we were asked to produce a 200 words piece ( choice of flash fiction, poetry, start of a longer piece etc) which had to include the phrase " I'm about to find out". I could not actually attend this week but found the task very stimulating and once again cathartic, this is my take on the piece:

I'm About To Find Out.

I'm about to find out:
If my prayers have been answered,
the course of my destiny,
Which way will the ship steer?
Are my beliefs a farce?

Seasons are of no consequence,
the cold and grey winters,
the hot and sticky summers,
always a morbid day.

The clock keeps ticking,
to the beat of my heart racing,
an hour takes up a lifetime,
I will grow old in this place.

On first names terms with them all,
four walls ingrained within me,
a hyped up bazaar,
full of sorrow.

Some mothers cradling infants,
the tears in their eyes,
the fears in their hearts,
looking so lost.

Usual morning tea cannot sustain me,
everything tastes sour,
my stomach is churning,
I cannot relish a morsel.

My name is called out,
the long awaited verdict,
of my little ones future.

Sickened how they play god,
to my flesh and blood
like she is not mine.

I carried her inside me,
within a battlefield,
she entered the world.
these common ignorant peasants
decide her future.

A prolonged conclusion
Inside screaming please be over!
Drained and rung out
all I long for now, is hibernation.

Thought Provoking Writer's Group Task.

At the Writers group we set a weekly task . Last weeks task was very close to home and approriate for my blog, which is why I have decided to make it my post for this week. The task of hundred words was " an object in your house is watching your morning routine". This is what I came up with:

Mummy Mania to Yummy Mummy.


Kidding herself that the plumbing is not working. Newsflash I am more than a burst pipe, we are all screaming at her STOP. No time to pause for a cup of tea, then she complains about mouth ulcers. Fresh out of the shower, sweating again another shower is needed. The party really gets started when the little one awakes. A minature mirror reflection. She leaves the house tripping over her stiletto's. The outside world would be none the wiser to the mania. She certainly gives the celebrity yummy mummies a run for their money. Stepping out looking so glamourous and immaculate.

Enlightenment.

This week has been a very testing week for me with the obstacles I have faced. It may sound corny and even clichéd but among the turmoil I have also seen some light and put my thoughts on paper, by composing the following poem. This poem works at two levels for me. The feedback I have received about my poetry at the writers group is that maybe I need to trim the rhyme and really get to the core of the emotions. Unlike my usual rhyming poems I have started experimenting with a prose poetry style. This poem has also been like catharsis for me. Here goes.

The Light Within Turmoil.

Acted in haste,

Repent a life sentence.

Not just at leisure

I live and breath the karma.

Although I have broken the chains

I am still held prisoner

of the cruel torture chamber.

Trying to break the wings I found.

Consuming my mind, body and soul

eating away the goodness.

Gripping so tight I cannot breath,

Passive suffocation

away from the darkness of the dungeon.

I now hold the key

and nobody can touch me.

It causes pain

That I am not held captive

Inside the cage.

Going insane

with an unfulfilled mission,

of obsessive vendetta.

Trying to break me at a distance

Crumbling down on my knees.

This bird has strong wings

and will keep flying high.

In captive I did not break

and walked away standing tall

cutting the rope of suffocation.

I cannot be harmed at distance.

The light of an angel

Set me free,

from the darkness of the dungeon.

This light fuels my inner fight.

Music for the soul.

Rishii  is now getting well into his tabla tour. Nishka and I watched Rishii and up and coming Sitar player Akash Ash Parekh give a musical demonstration last weekend, for a Health and Culture Event. This took place at Beauchamp College, Oadby, Leicester which happens to be mine, Rishii's and our sisters old college.

The demonstration that Rishii and Akash gave focused on the mental, physical and spiritual aspects of music. Rishii began with a demonstration of   warm up exercises on the tabla that really work the upper and lower arms, focusing on the physical aspect. Akash went through warm up exercises on the sitar and mentioned how even the sitting position when playing the sitar requires a level of physical flexibility. Akash then went onto demonstrate the warm up exercises he performs on Sitar during his practise.

They both moved onto  the mental aspects of music and the emphasis on different levels of concentration. Playing tabla and sitar involves memorising different phrases and various time and rhythm changes that really work the left and right brain.

The final part of the demonstration looked at the spiritual aspects of music, where Rishii emphasised on "zoning out". During  a performance a musician gets very deep into their music but at the same time they often have to contend with background noise and often organisers telling them to hurry up if performances run past the allotted time. Akash talked about how the raga's ( compositions) played on sitar have different moods and can put the musician in a relaxed medatative state. Rishi talked about how tabla players often say the rhythms they are playing and how this is like reciting a mantra.

I personally walked away from this demonstration full of motivation to encourage Nishka's musical interest. From this demonstration one can see that investing in music lessons for a child is an investment in a child's over all health and well being. One of the many reasons my blog is called mummy manic Mondays is because I have moments of mania when Nishka gets bored and does not know how to use her energy. I have observed many positive behaviour changes in Nishka since she has been having lessons with Rishii. The other day Rishii and Akash were rehearsing and when Nishka came home she went into great detail about what they were practising. According to Rishii Nishka was more than happy to sit and watch them as they rehearsed. Getting an energetic four year old to do that is a result.

On a more personal note, I am friends with a lot of single mums who like myself are going through bitter legal battles. During these moments of darkness, I would say both a parent and a child can find light through something they are passionate about. For me it is writing and I am so happy that Nishka is showing an interest in music, which I will wholeheartedly support. To all parents and kids find a passion that nourishes your mind, body and soul.