Follow me on my journey as a working mother and writer. I will be updating the blog weekly not neccesarily on a Monday.
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
Another Fitting Task.
I feel maybe this months Writers Group chairperson is reading my mind. For the second week in a row the task set has been very close to home for me. This week we were asked to produce a 200 words piece ( choice of flash fiction, poetry, start of a longer piece etc) which had to include the phrase " I'm about to find out". I could not actually attend this week but found the task very stimulating and once again cathartic, this is my take on the piece:
I'm About To Find Out.
I'm about to find out:
If my prayers have been answered,
the course of my destiny,
Which way will the ship steer?
Are my beliefs a farce?
Seasons are of no consequence,
the cold and grey winters,
the hot and sticky summers,
always a morbid day.
The clock keeps ticking,
to the beat of my heart racing,
an hour takes up a lifetime,
I will grow old in this place.
On first names terms with them all,
four walls ingrained within me,
a hyped up bazaar,
full of sorrow.
Some mothers cradling infants,
the tears in their eyes,
the fears in their hearts,
looking so lost.
Usual morning tea cannot sustain me,
everything tastes sour,
my stomach is churning,
I cannot relish a morsel.
My name is called out,
the long awaited verdict,
of my little ones future.
Sickened how they play god,
to my flesh and blood
like she is not mine.
I carried her inside me,
within a battlefield,
she entered the world.
these common ignorant peasants
decide her future.
A prolonged conclusion
Inside screaming please be over!
Drained and rung out
all I long for now, is hibernation.
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
Thought Provoking Writer's Group Task.
At the Writers group we set a weekly task . Last weeks task was very close to home and approriate for my blog, which is why I have decided to make it my post for this week. The task of hundred words was " an object in your house is watching your morning routine". This is what I came up with:
Mummy Mania to Yummy Mummy.
Kidding herself that the plumbing is not working. Newsflash I am more than a burst pipe, we are all screaming at her STOP. No time to pause for a cup of tea, then she complains about mouth ulcers. Fresh out of the shower, sweating again another shower is needed. The party really gets started when the little one awakes. A minature mirror reflection. She leaves the house tripping over her stiletto's. The outside world would be none the wiser to the mania. She certainly gives the celebrity yummy mummies a run for their money. Stepping out looking so glamourous and immaculate.
Mummy Mania to Yummy Mummy.
Kidding herself that the plumbing is not working. Newsflash I am more than a burst pipe, we are all screaming at her STOP. No time to pause for a cup of tea, then she complains about mouth ulcers. Fresh out of the shower, sweating again another shower is needed. The party really gets started when the little one awakes. A minature mirror reflection. She leaves the house tripping over her stiletto's. The outside world would be none the wiser to the mania. She certainly gives the celebrity yummy mummies a run for their money. Stepping out looking so glamourous and immaculate.
Sunday, 7 October 2012
Enlightenment.
This
week has been a very testing week for me with the obstacles I have
faced. It may sound corny and even clichéd but among the turmoil I
have also seen some light and put my thoughts on paper, by composing
the following poem. This poem works at two levels for me. The
feedback I have received about my poetry at the writers group is that
maybe I need to trim the rhyme and really get to the core of the
emotions. Unlike my usual rhyming poems I have started experimenting
with a prose poetry style. This poem has also been like catharsis for
me. Here goes.
The
Light Within Turmoil.
Acted in
haste,
Repent a
life sentence.
Not just
at leisure
I live
and breath the karma.
Although
I have broken the chains
I am
still held prisoner
of the
cruel torture chamber.
Trying
to break the wings I found.
Consuming
my mind, body and soul
eating
away the goodness.
Gripping
so tight I cannot breath,
Passive
suffocation
away
from the darkness of the dungeon.
I now
hold the key
and
nobody can touch me.
It
causes pain
That I
am not held captive
Inside
the cage.
Going
insane
with an
unfulfilled mission,
of
obsessive vendetta.
Trying
to break me at a distance
Crumbling
down on my knees.
This
bird has strong wings
and will
keep flying high.
In
captive I did not break
and
walked away standing tall
cutting
the rope of suffocation.
I cannot
be harmed at distance.
The
light of an angel
Set me
free,
from the
darkness of the dungeon.
This
light fuels my inner fight.
Monday, 1 October 2012
Music for the soul.
Rishii is now getting well into his tabla tour. Nishka and I watched Rishii and up and coming Sitar player Akash Ash Parekh give a musical demonstration last weekend, for a Health and Culture Event. This took place at Beauchamp College, Oadby, Leicester which happens to be mine, Rishii's and our sisters old college.
The demonstration that Rishii and Akash gave focused on the mental, physical and spiritual aspects of music. Rishii began with a demonstration of warm up exercises on the tabla that really work the upper and lower arms, focusing on the physical aspect. Akash went through warm up exercises on the sitar and mentioned how even the sitting position when playing the sitar requires a level of physical flexibility. Akash then went onto demonstrate the warm up exercises he performs on Sitar during his practise.
They both moved onto the mental aspects of music and the emphasis on different levels of concentration. Playing tabla and sitar involves memorising different phrases and various time and rhythm changes that really work the left and right brain.
The final part of the demonstration looked at the spiritual aspects of music, where Rishii emphasised on "zoning out". During a performance a musician gets very deep into their music but at the same time they often have to contend with background noise and often organisers telling them to hurry up if performances run past the allotted time. Akash talked about how the raga's ( compositions) played on sitar have different moods and can put the musician in a relaxed medatative state. Rishi talked about how tabla players often say the rhythms they are playing and how this is like reciting a mantra.
I personally walked away from this demonstration full of motivation to encourage Nishka's musical interest. From this demonstration one can see that investing in music lessons for a child is an investment in a child's over all health and well being. One of the many reasons my blog is called mummy manic Mondays is because I have moments of mania when Nishka gets bored and does not know how to use her energy. I have observed many positive behaviour changes in Nishka since she has been having lessons with Rishii. The other day Rishii and Akash were rehearsing and when Nishka came home she went into great detail about what they were practising. According to Rishii Nishka was more than happy to sit and watch them as they rehearsed. Getting an energetic four year old to do that is a result.
On a more personal note, I am friends with a lot of single mums who like myself are going through bitter legal battles. During these moments of darkness, I would say both a parent and a child can find light through something they are passionate about. For me it is writing and I am so happy that Nishka is showing an interest in music, which I will wholeheartedly support. To all parents and kids find a passion that nourishes your mind, body and soul.
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